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pn   This has been a bad year.

   I don’t mean to sound pessimistic, but it doesn’t seem to be getting any better. I have done it not once, not twice, but four times so far this year.

   I promise myself that “this is the absolute last time I’ll ever be talked into this again.” That lasts usually until someone else asks me to help.In case your wondering what I’m talking about, it’s called moving.

   AAARRRGGGGHHHHH!!!!!!

   I hate to move. I hate moving other people.

   The problem is, I can’t say no. Now this does not mean you can call me up and ask me to help move you because I will learn how to say no.

   Moving is a major pain because every time you think you’ve got everything, you remember something you forgot.

   I moved upstairs in January. Not a long move, but a move all the same. It is now August and I’m still finding things I had forgotten.

   I was lucky because my former roommate stayed downstairs. Whenever I couldn’t find what I needed, I went downstairs and looked in his apartment. Between the two, whatever I was looking for usually showed up.I don’t have that luxury anymore. Last weekend I moved my former roommate home. Now he can try to find everything.

   I’ve also moved my former editor and former girlfriend. We stayed together long enough to get her moved.

   Two friends of mine are moving in the next few weeks; one I work with and another who lives in Fort Smith. I think I’ll be able to talk my way out of moving at least one of them. The other may become a former friend.

   It’s not that moving is difficult, it’s just a hassle. Nothing is worse than trying to decide where the furniture will sit.

   “Move it here, no, there looks better. No, I think I really want it over there, next to the window. That really looks out of place, doesn’t it. Let’s try it back over here,” which is where I had it the first time.

   I have learned one thing that should help me when I’m married and have to move. There is only one boss, and that should be the woman of the house (God forbid there are two women).

   When dealing with a woman boss, you can place things and not hear about where you placed them for at least a month. It will take her that long to unpack all the kitchen items before she can worry about how the living room looks.

   There is a bright side to moving if you can call it that. On each and every move, you lose something that was clutter but you absolutely had to have it.

   Funny thing is, you forget about it until you see a duplicate at one of your friends houses and you wonder, “Didn’t I have one of those thingamajigs? Must’ve lost it in the move.”


This article first appeared Aug. 12, 1993 in The Times of North Little Rock .